documenting – my way to an essay

i’m feeling the worst i can feel tonight. i have had a pretty nice day, but certain things etch bad moods. then again, it is the PMS swing and i don’t want to make a big deal about it. one thing i know for pretty sure, i’ve got to sleep real super early tonight, there’s no two ways about it. i think sometimes whatever other people try around you i end up feeling left out, teary, and heavy-hearted. tough luck. stupidity.

but, i guess writing should find me a way out of this rut and a way into a smiling sleep.

….

definitions

this is the title.

some lines –

A system is created to assure freedom, sustenance, survival, and knowledge. If a system is failing to offer this at all turns and walls, the system is unmistakably faulty. Most systems we subscribe to today, or rather worship, and refuse to think beyond, are very much like this.

i’m backspacing quite a bit now. i know i want to write. i know what i want to write about. but they’re these full stops in my head annoying me. i am going to start again — there’s an essay jumping about in my head that i have to get out.

definitions (contd)

Space is the boundless, three-dimensional extent in which objects and events occur and have relative position and direction.[1] Physical space is often conceived in three lineardimensions, although modern physicists usually consider it, with time, to be part of a boundless four-dimensional continuum known as spacetime. In mathematics one examines “spaces” with different numbers of dimensions and with different underlying structures. The concept of space is considered to be of fundamental importance to an understanding of the physical universe although disagreement continues between philosophers over whether it is itself an entity, a relationship between entities, or part of a conceptual framework. – wikipedia

no no no. i want to talk about not only the space we see when tilt up our heads. it’s the space around us. everywhere. the space i create for you. the space you create for me. the space we imprison ourselves in. the space we dream about. the city. the village. this blog. the shop on my street. spaces we create everyday, with their ever changing shades. it is the politics of space – public and private – the hows and whys, the what and wheres — i’ve been thinking about. recently, everything i think about have been choosing either theatre or publishing as a large mould to fall in to. so, this too; this exploration of space comes from theatre and shall travel into publishing. i hope. now hope you please sit in that locker, i have some business to take care of. no hope before actual work. okay?

let’s start with this space i am using, paper, pen, blog.

15.01.2012 in notebook

(definitions)

edward t hall,

One senses that there is also a growing awareness of a loss of relatedness to the world at large. This loss of relatedness leads to an increased need for organizing frames of reference to aid in integrating the mass of rapidly changing information with which man must cope. The Hidden Dimension attempts to provide just this… This approach underscores the fact that man is first, last, always, like other members of the animal kingdom, a prisoner of his biological organism. The gulf that separates him from the rest of the animal kingdom is not nearly so great  as most people think. The more we learn about animals and the intricate adaptation mechanisms evolution has produced, the more relevant these studies become to the solution of some of the more baffling human problems… In writing about my research on man’s use of space — the space that he maintains between himself and his fellows and which he builds around him in his home and office — my purpose is to bring to awareness much that is taken for granted. By this means, I hope to increase self-identity, intensify experience, and decrease alienation, In a word, to take a small step along the road of self-knowledge to help reintroduce man to himself.

the month of november, assembled from many companies sat a greying desktop in front of me. it had been a year of fiddling around allpoetry.com. i’d been writing like the mad hatter. under very depressing circumstances, much  like so many others, i needed a space for self-pity and rants. my family might not have had the strength… (to be contd) current cut in few minutes. 

**

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