Sudha says ‘This is you saying you cannot focus, in good language’. At least he thinks it’s good language. :)

sometimes the word process, the act of being in a process consumes me. it procrastinates my means to any end. to find something, stick to it – look into it – is by itself a process to me. it is to bite into an apple all the way to its bitter, grainy seed, wondering where all my teeth and my tongue have been, where all these molecules have come from. once a man who came to speak at my school, or this is a scene from something  i dreamt up, told us something about atoms.

atoms are everywhere. they are always moving around. my daughter is now 2000 miles away from me. but i am inhaling her. we are all in each other.

as a kid a lot of what he said remained spooky. then what he said sounded like don juan’s voice. now it’s my head bustling around.

where ever i am, whatever i am doing, whatever my means, whatever the possible ends, there are fractals of distraction; a microscopic fungal growth that spreads – a million more questions every second.

have you ever wondered if a pineapple would like itself if it was turned inside out? when a mind wavers like that, my only concrete thing to puzzle everything in to is story. that’s why storytelling amazes me. i am not great at it yet, but this short journey of playing around with theatre, film, writing, myself has been great great fun. however, today, we are sitting a day late for one of things we were supposed to sign up for. quite fed up of being busy. but still desperately wanting to be busy. ideas caught inside our head. nothing amazing us too much. small talk. the weather out is reallllly nice. we should go to the beach. even all of that said in love. we are bored.

let’s eat and watch a movie we decide. choose a movie i say, to get some time to write all this that’s in my head. secretly hoping, maybe a play will pop in to my head. then i’ll know what to do with it.

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